‘I AM THOMAS’

‘I am Thomas!’

I am remembered for my doubts;

Yet, how many have been like me,

Unwilling, or unable to accept the Lord?

My nights have often been restless,

My days often empty and void.

What is it I should learn,

From the lesson given so patiently?

The world came to an end,

For me, on that day on Calvary.

The promise of a new beginning,

Finished in a death so cruel.

I was a man of means,

Comfortable in my manner of living.

Yet, I continually faced each event,

With hesitation and trepidation.

My soul cried out in agony,

To my God who had provided for me.

I presented myself at the temple,

Gave alms, as the tithe required, my responsibility.

I felt comfort in the call directed to me.

I relinquished all that belonged to me;

I gave some acceptance to the Son,

His Word, the sharing of His peace and glory.

The life we lived as participants,

Agents of the Christ, were most trying.

We were not assured of our path,

We were not assured of our destiny.

My brothers comforted and gave support.

Put my fears to rest for brief moments;

Even though I saw a great deal,

It was difficult  to change how I would feel!

On the morning Jesus arose,

I questioned the sisters who gave report.

I wanted to run to the tomb to see,

But I could not face what might be!

On the morning Jesus came to visit;

I had already left to check the garden.

For I had mustered my spirit,

Put on a face of courage.

The tomb was empty, and looked quite plain:

There was no reminder of He who was slain.

I cried my tears of doubt,

I was more unsure, less than devout.

When I returned to the house where we were,

My brothers had joyous news, I did not hear.

I again felt left out; and declared I would not believe

Of the resurrection until the wounds I could perceive.

I brooded for several days, unreconciled.

My eyes were opened and I was amazed,

When the Lord came into our midst;

He spoke to me and challenged my faith.

From that time on, I knew of His love.

My fears subsided and I fell down;

On my knees to ask for forgiveness;

Our Lord said, “Blessed are they who will believe.”

I am Thomas.

Yes, I was a man of doubt;

Until that time when Jesus Christ, Our Lord,

And Our God, renewed me and put my fear out.

I know my responsibility,

And where my life would take me.

Now there was no stopping my witness,

And I was eager to leave.

I accompanied my brethren, sometimes followed,

Occasionally I would lead.

We complemented each other,

Told our story, rejoiced and did not grieve.

You died for us My Lord,

You gave us a means of faith, in Your Word.

You allow us to grow and put aside our fears,

You comfort and strengthen each of us.

No longer will clouds cast shadows,

Upon the face of my belief.

For the light that will forever shine,

Was cast upon us on that Ascension Day.

May 5th. 1996 © Will George.