I AM PAUL

The synagogue has been my responsibility!

Also the conduct of each individual,

in accordance with the law

with no deviation from the acceptable.

I practised both as Scribe and Pharisee,

a soldier, not in battle, but to direct the scene,

melded together with the understanding of Essene.

I have prosecuted many who have failed

to show just cause or reason

for why the law should not be obeyed.

For failure itself amounts to treason

And for those who so choose,

death itself should have been the reward,

or penalty, to be expected by those renegade.

The followers of Christ did not conform

to the agreed directions given

by any established arm.

Their presence was disruptive

to the balance of power we held;

a threat to the Roman and to the Jew.

We expected them to pay attention to us!

As a Roman citizen I had privilege,

especially in such a backward province.

Judea was the focal point;

But the extremities were a part

of the infection that spread

beyond the civilized states.

On the road to Antioch I was awakened

to the presence of the prophet.

My duty, I thought, was to hate.

My dreams had been troublesome

yet I choose to ignore

what were messages to make me aware.

My license to persecute was most unfair.

I was brought to my knees in a rush

by the blinding light of God’s presence.

It was not in a burning bush

or upon the sacred mount.

But on the road to Damascus

Jesus came to me.

He allowed me in my blindness to see!

I was given new sight!

Ananias took care of me,

fed me and my servant came to be.

Of the many truths of Christ, he taught me.

I was brought to the reality of His Life.

I sought to reconcile with what was right,

renewed in a belief that God’s Son was the true light.

I am Paul,

Persecutor of the innocent!

I cannot undo what I have done!

I accept full responsibility and stand to account

for lives I have taken by my own fault.

But I ask of you one thought,

look within and forgive me from your heart.

Jesus came to me! To bring me to Him.

I have been full with my own importance.

I who had the ear of the Tetrarch of Jerusalem

blindly followed the destruction of the innocent.

The Roman way, of divide and conquer,

no value for life of those now slave

to the greatest army in the world.

‘Love one another as I have loved you!’

This tenet has moved me from what I knew.

I have been blessed by seeing the Christ;

Now I am charged to be His witness.

Rome is full of false gods and false ideals;

The law itself has been abused,

no longer the protector of those it was meant to protect.

I felt strange when I spoke in opposition

to those who had once been my friends.

They tried to persuade me that I was mistaken,

that my mind had been twisted by some evil possession.

They used my words for their example,

twisted the meaning of the simple and the plain

until at last they tried to shout down my silence.

Being a citizen has merit!

Who dares to challenge the task master?

The slave is any one who must give servitude.

The strong sword arm inflicts obedience.

The government gains false comfort

upon its dependence on the mercenary,

whose allegiance is purely monetary.

The currency of exchange is no longer the dinar!

The culture that first profited immorally

no longer controls its market place.

The role of financier has moved on.

There has been a dependency on physical assets;

The ability to coerce has become commerce;

Property ownership has been kept to the privileged.

There are boundaries to citizenship!

False allegiances leave false comfort.

There are no moral restrictions on adherence to the state.

Faith or belief in the goodness of action is not a requisite;

Is there triumph in achieving the goals of others?

Partnerships are threatened by awareness;

Disclosure is the knowledge shared by the wary.

I could not believe that Christ spoke to me.

His words were ineffectual!

I do not remember all that he said,

But I, in my stupidity, soon responded only to His travesty.

I felt the pain of those I punished,

by searing rod, or upon the rack

And finally I saw as I hung with Him on that cross.

I am Paul!

Why was I chosen to reach the Gentile?

Moreso than any of the brothers, I was free,

in relative terms, subject only to Roman Law.

I could travel without restriction,

I could orate upon any topic,

proviso upon not attacking Caesar.

Rome has availed herself of many prohibitions and much perversion.

All roads lead to Rome, rightly so;

The focal point of liberal mindedness

trapped only by the threat of malice.

Power is the currency of body;

the idol, the godhead of the celebrated muse

or of the reigning deity crowned with laurels.

I knew a great deal about those I pursued.

I had researched the prophets,

I interviewed those claims of healing

sometimes making the confessor affirm testimony through pain.

I listened to the teachings given by Jesus.

I observed those disciples who were happy to affirm

the truth of their conversion.

How long has it been since He was Here?

I see sickness and disease

in the moral conduct of the people,

beyond physical illness or infirmity.

How will this be healed?

Deafness is an attitude as much as an affliction.

Education and willingness to learn alleviate its impact.

I met the man who offered me protection.

No, not our Lord and Saviour!

This was a man of insight,

learned, aware, one who embraced the message.

Here was a Roman, a man of value,

of valor, noble in thought and practice.

Of his name, Paulus Aquinus, I was elected.

The custom established in Law,

the adoption of a successor

To continue, in name, the family name.

A noteworthy transaction respected

by individual and state; a corporate understanding,

by precedent, that which established the Caesars,

even to the foolhardy Nero.

I have written much to the multiple.

To individual faction I have given the salient point.

I have admonished the fallen

and re-iterated encouragement

for the value of the struggle;

Firstly of the ego in need of healing,

then of the ceremony requiring practise.

We do not reject our Judaism.

But, there is a greater gift

in the words of the Lord Jesus Christ,

Saviour and Redeemer of the World,

Son of God; The Alpha and Omega.

All of mankind have been given the invitation

to believe and to be saved.

I have seen much debauchery and waste.

Those who claim privilege

have been the worst aggressors.

Irresponsibility and excess are the normal,

no restrictions have applied,

no moral bound has been accepted.

Sin is rampant by choice.

Those communities to whom I wrote

have particular shortcomings.

Collectively and individually they represent Man!

Religious beings; non-spiritual, willing to be pervert.

The rules of conduct have no value

if the choice cannot be made

to restrict that which is morally degrading.

Many of the Disciples struggled with their Jewish compatriots.

The converts were few, the skeptics were many.

Who would have believed other prophets?

God is a jealous God!

This message has been delivered for so long;

ears have been closed, hearing nothing else.

Minds do not reflect the truth of the heart.

I believed that God gave us His Son for all men.

The Israelite has been a fortunate individual.

The people have been forgiven often,

they have enjoyed the fruits of their labours,

other nations have been victor and have conquered.

The preferences previously enjoyed have been withdrawn,

the chosen people have not been deserving.

Jesus was God’s sacrifice to this Nation.

There was no wager to be won!

Possibly there was a divine thought,

‘This people will reconcile to My Son!’

How many messages were to be delivered,

giving advance notice and fore-warning

in order that there would be a celebration.

God has given to us new life!

He has moved the bondage of death.

O Ye Men of little faith, look...!

Look back at the errors and omissions You have made.

You have not taken heed of your lessons;

the Kingdom has been reduced to a whim.

A new age has been foresworn by you who are unwilling.

I am Paul!

My faith has been my passion.

My desire to learn my conviction.

I was one who tested the Christ.

I reported to the Sanhedrin.

I saw many things that I disbelieved

or that I ignored due to my prejudice.

I represented my City of Tarsus

at the Council of the Elders.

My office made my mind heavy

where my heart would not convince me

that what I saw was true and fair.

My colleagues refuted all proof

confirming that this Jesus was indeed Messiah!

Barnabus was a good companion.

Together we faced each community,

gave the Word with explanation;

the resulting joy was evident

of the healing balm in their touch.

Lost souls cried out and came forward willingly

to reconcile painful lives with a rebirth in spirituality.

My incarceration was not painful.

House arrest had many advantages.

I could still be visited by friends

who choose to seek the message.

I was no threat to the Administration.

A curiosity for some if they had influence,

but most were wary of Caesar’s wroth.

Rome was full of lost souls.

Collectively, peoples who lived in fear,

who trod carefully in their doubt,

for each day, sometimes each hour

was witness to an empirical decree

proclaiming the sacrifice of a life

to satisfy the regal right.

I have visited and spoken to many.

God’s gift to me, my oratory,

has been put to work for the good,

to bring many thoughts in Christ’s Word.

My letters again recount the wisdom

of the validity of the new life,

the triumph over spiritual death.

Which of the words of God are most important?

Are they those only contained in the law?

My brothers and sisters have realized

the death of a king extends beyond this existence.

Jesus as the Christ extends beyond time;

As Lord and Saviour it is recognized

He is the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega.

‘I AM; The Way; The Truth; The Life.’

Each action of being exemplified.

God’s gift to mankind to be, like Him; I AM;

The path of conduct best followed; The Way;

The discernment of Good from Evil; The Truth;

The everlasting power, for eternity; The Life;

For us, we may attain true immortality.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

I AM PAUL.

Those chosen as disciples, my brother and sister,

this Earth cannot restrain their souls,

the darkness cannot threaten their life.

To Mankind, God, an Eternal Father,

His blessing has extended in kind to You, likewise!

July 11th. 1996 © Will George